Dating Makes You (or me) Want To Die

So I picked up this here book, Dating Makes You Want To Die: (But You Have To Do It Anyway), a few weeks ago because…well I need all the help I can get and am not getting any younger so why not? I’ll spare you a review but I didn’t find it overly helpful and most of the advice was either not geared towards someone like me or it was really no-brainer kind of stuff that even I get. Although I did laugh out loud a few times as it’s pretty snarky in places. Having said all that, the first paragraph of book just floored me and I related a liiiiiitle too well to it…so here it goes complete with commentary:


“You do not let someone else dictate your happiness. You come home whenever you damn well please. You have hobbies. You spend late nights at work without worry and haven’t taken a vacation since 2003 (late nights, not so much but vacations? Who would I go on vacation with?). You tell anyone who will listen that you’re deliriously happy (not so much, actually). You can’t remember the last time you changed your sheets. The only person’s birthday you have to remember is your mother’s. You repeatedly make out with people whose last names you don’t know and whose first names are equally iffy (ditto in the not so much). When your confused and desperate friends ask you for dating advice, you make references to your last ex (you know, the one from three years ago) (HAHAHAHAHA…I mean I have NO idea what you’re talking about...Lord, I have problems). You go to the gym. You are the first to show up for parties. Heck, you even have time to think of witty RSVPs to the Evite. You are the go-to person when someone needs help moving into a new apartment or needs someone to post bail. You, dear reader, are the Single.
And you are miserable.”

Yeah, so after hitting the nail on my head, there is a lot of stuff that didn’t hit as close to home to me but at least I don’t feel quite as alone. You know,

Oh and to book-end the quotes, I also saw a few things from the intro to the marriage section I identified with that hit a taaaaad close to home as well.

“We date for one reason: so that we don’t have to do it anymore. We want to stop meeting near strangers for activities that aren’t fun. We want to stop feeling lonely and desperate. We want to stop walking into our house to be greeted by small, dependant animals.” (Aaaaaaaand yes, yes, yes and yes.)

Anyway, I don’t know if this read made me feel particularly better about the whole dating thing, but it has to be done, right? Although I think I’m done with books on this stuff as this was almost the closest book I saw that might make sense as the rest of the titles I’ve seen have either been exclusively geared towards women (you know, about how to snatch a man to marry), were for couples already in relationships or were about how to get as many booty calls as possible. Once again, where is the book for the really great guy who’s seen a bad streak with women? I can’t be the only one, right? *meh* Until next time…