For people who read this as a Note on Facebook: There are a number of videos embeded in this post and will not be transferred over to FB, so go to View Original Post (at my blog URL) to get the full entry as intended. They really need to fix that. Anyway, on to the post…
Something I’ve become quite aware of as I’ve gotten older is that one of the primary characteristics I possess is that I’m passionate. This has the unfortunate side effect that I can get wrapped into things that are occasionally by nature temporary. I sometimes have looked for the eternal in that which is inherently fleeting in nature. However, and thankfully, this isn’t the case with all of my passions. One of these is music and I’m convinced that music is one of the vehicles by which God moves, communicates, and envelopes us. Having said that, I’ve seen myself go through a number of stages in my musical trajectory and I know that today is one step towards tomorrow. We’re always in motion.
With all this as preface, I share with you a recent realization. I had been thinking how the music of English folk singer Nick Drake has totally wrapped around my heart in recent months. I came late to the party and only started listening to him this spring and I’ve been kicking myself for not getting into his stuff sooner, however I hadn’t been able to place my finger on to what about his music has created this connection, and then it came to me.
One of the first things you’ll notice about his songs is that he’s literate, complicated (lyrically and musically), and that he has A LOT of things to share from beauty, vignettes of life, various contemplations, and all told with a passion of love but fought with loss and unfilled potential. For the uninitiated, here’s a quick re-cap. Nick released three albums between 1969-72, none of which sold more than 5,000 copies, during this time everyone around him told him he was a genius yet had NO commercial success at all and was unwilling to do any real promotion and was incredibly (painfully so) shy and introverted, this in turn caused (or probably more accentuated) him to go into a deep depression, and in 1974 (at the age of 26) he died from an overdose of medication he was on for depression. His death was ruled a suicide, although there’s be rampant speculation as to if this really was the case or if he simply took too many pills in an effort to sleep (he was a noted insomniac). Regardless, he was a troubled guy and tried his best to express this through his music.
I’ll say this. I get it. I understand having a wealth of untapped potential swimming throughout your soul and not being able to aptly express it. With Nick, he was pouring himself into these songs and nobody was listening. That must have been brutal. I know, and I mean *know*, what it’s like to realize that you’re supposed to do something and no matter what you do, it comes to no avail. This comes across in his songs as there’s an intense longing to be appreciated, loved, and to let the beauty from within come out. In related, by all accounts he only had two women who approached anything resembling a girlfriend (although neither “official” as it were) and he almost assuredly died a virgin. I bring this up as when you listen to his music you know he has a real romantic and poetic side and then you find out it was never fully reciprocated it’s something that I’ve related to. It’s been the exact same thing I’ve struggled with almost my entire life. I too, have had to live with the knowledge that I possess a serious passion for love and I’ve known all too well what it’s like to not have a genuine outlet for that passion. The stifling nature almost makes one crazy. To know you care so much but to have a series of dead ends is enough to make anyone depressed and, in an aside, if it wouldn’t have been for my faith who knows if I would be here now. And it’s because of God using music that has probably saved me as I know even if I don’t have love, there *is* some kind of reality that can be transmitted through heartfelt music, and it’s seen me through thus far.
Okay, *now* I’m getting off the rails. The point is that I suddenly came to the realization that this is someone just like me, who was passionate, who cared more than he should have, and suffered the ill effects of unrequited appreciation, love, and who knows what else he was looking for. Anyway, for me not only have I found another artist to give voice for that which has sometimes gone lacking in my life but, in an odd way, someone who’s work has shown true durability as he’s now considered one of the finest English songwriters of the past 50 years. Too bad it took so long.
Anyway, here are some of the songs I’ve related to pretty strongly in the past few months.
“Time Has Told Me” A song about longing (“Someday our ocean will find its shore”) told from someone too young to know any better. Or you would think.
“Day is Done” A contemplative piece on the work you’ve done and what it might mean.
“’Cello Song” It’s a song about death. Kinda. It’s about moving on, transition really, where we can forget this cruel world and look forward to something greater.
“Man In a Shed” Perhaps the most apt musical of story of how *I* feel in my journey of love. Sheds sometimes *are* nicer than you thought…
“Saturday Sun” Sometimes life is about the little moments and slices of life…like the sun coming out of nowhere on a Saturday. Although it’s followed up with rain on Sunday and you come to the understanding that he’s looking for Saturday sun and only getting Sunday rain. He is experiencing the sun he wants second hand, but that that’s as close as he might come.
“One of These Things First” Life has many possibilities. Which one will come first?
“Fly” Recently I was hit with the opening lines of this song, “Please give me a second grace, Please give me a second face” Sometimes I think we all need a second chance at grace with another face.
“Northern Sky” Yes, I know I just had a post of this song, and that post was actually the genesis for all of this…anyway should I be graced with another woman in my life I’d like to have this be our first dance. Holy nuts I’m a sap.
“Which Will” So much of life is about the choices we make and the effects of them. Seemingly random acts of happenstance can mean so much in the grand scheme of things.
“From The Morning” I love the potential of possibilities presented each day as we rise. This can be the fount of from which all things beautifully escape and begin to sway from a latent state to the soft embrace of grace.
“Clothes of Sand” Many claim this is primarily about his use of LSD, and there are certainly allusions to drug use which I think make up a part of this tune, but the heart of the song seems to lie in the chorus:
“Clothes of sand have covered your face
Give you meaning taken my place
So make your way down to the sea
Something has taken you far from me”
It’s about how time and circumstance change people.
Wow, didn’t mean to end the video portion with a downer. Maybe it’s not. Change isn’t always a bad thing.
Anyway, so that’s Josh & Nick. Music can be incredibly cathartic, changing, empowering, and a reminder that we’re not alone in this life. All things to His glory and purposes, right? Who musically touches your soul?
Monday, July 19, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Northern Sky
I got into a Nick mood tonight and Northern Sky came on causing me to get all sentimental and poetical. I tend to be that way. Here’s to the future, wherever she may be.
Someday again
I don’t know when
I can’t tell who
But I hope it’s soon
Maybe it’s you?
Northern Sky – Nick Drake
I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky.
It's been a long time that I'm waiting
Been a long time that I'm blown
been a long time that I've wandered
Through the people I have known
Oh, if you would and you could
Straighten my new mind's eye.
Would you love me for my money
Would you love me for my head
Would you love me through the winter
Would you love me 'til I'm dead
Oh, if you would and you could
Come blow your horn on high.
I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky.
Someday again
I don’t know when
I can’t tell who
But I hope it’s soon
Maybe it’s you?
Northern Sky – Nick Drake
I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky.
It's been a long time that I'm waiting
Been a long time that I'm blown
been a long time that I've wandered
Through the people I have known
Oh, if you would and you could
Straighten my new mind's eye.
Would you love me for my money
Would you love me for my head
Would you love me through the winter
Would you love me 'til I'm dead
Oh, if you would and you could
Come blow your horn on high.
I never felt magic crazy as this
I never saw moons knew the meaning of the sea
I never held emotion in the palm of my hand
Or felt sweet breezes in the top of a tree
But now you're here
Brighten my northern sky.
2010 Southwest Road Trip Spectacular
Most of you know that I’m now pursuing a couple business opportunities right now that has me working at home. It’s kind of been an odd place and I’m still trying to get a feel for this new life. Anyway, since I was (and still am) waiting for some paperwork to clear on one of the business ventures before I can get really into things, I have a little more free time on my hands than I initially had thought when I left my old job. Now you know what that means, right? ROAD TRIP!!!
So two weeks ago I took off with one of my best friends for a five day roadie throughout the Southwest. Now I was born in Arizona, but hadn’t really traveled through the area as an adult so this seemed to be a good time to do it. Going into planning we knew we wanted to go to Carlsbad Caverns but beyond that we were up for however things might go. My initial thought was that I have family in Phoenix so we might be able to stay with someone out there. Thankfully my cousin Jen said we could stay at their place so we had Monday night set. We then made skeletal plans to be in Albuquerque Tuesday and Wednesday, drive to Laughlin on Thursday, and come home by Friday night. With that laid out, here’s how things played out…
Anyone who knows me is aware that I’m a guy who enjoys his sleep so when the ala…wait when I just *naturally woke up* (seriously, what’s my problem?) just after 4:00 I was feeling a little surreal, but okay. So I updated my Facebook status (I do *not* have issues) threw my stuff in my car and went to pick Henry up. After arriving we threw some essentials in the car including a huge bottle of water and a container of chocolate covered almonds (gotta be prepared, you know?) and went our way. I drove the first leg…wait, I drove the whole trip. Hold on. sidebar. So we found out that one of my super powers is that I have the capacity to drive amazingly long distances without getting tired…provided I have a fully charged iPod. Apparently I run on music. I also want to take this time to thank the cities of Napa, Sacramento, and Paso Robles for the many trips I have taken to them that helped build my stamina. Also navigating the zany L.A. traffic for years has undoubtedly helped.
And we’re back. So we stopped off in Barstow and I had second breakfast at a McDonald’s (waaaaaay too much fast food on this trip. Sorry, body.) and we got some water bottles and chips. Our next stop proved to be an unexpected adventure. We stopped off at a Carl’s Jr. in Kingman, Arizona for a drink, I walked up to the counter to order and before I could say a word to place my order, the girl behind the counter asked, “Hey, has anyone told you that you look like the lead from the film version of Rent?” (this guy. Actor Anthony Rapp. What do you think?) Obviously I was not expecting this question but we proceeded to talk about this possibility for a spell and I even got my drink order in at some point. She gave me my cup and in classic nervous fashion immediately forgot the situation and told me my order would be up in a minute. I kindly reminded her that she already gave me my drink so my order already arrived but thanks and I got my drink. We walked back to my car and Henry, after telling me that she was totally hitting on me (I’m…ummmmm…a little oblivious to these things. It’s probably another reason why I’m still single. Josh and signals sometimes get lost), concocted a plan for me to have an excuse to go back. So we decided we *really* needed some ice. So I walked in to get a cup for ice aaaaaand…no girl. There was a nice more-than-middle-aged woman who gave me requested cup for ice. Oh well. Back on the road.
This then brings us to big site #1 on the trip: The Grand Canyon. As the way these things usually go, I really won’t be daft and try to *explain* the Grand Canyon. Here are some pics:
Panorama from the South Rim:
Another shot from the rim
We also…ummmmm…walked down and found a great spot to take some shots…at a ledge. Here you go:
Henry
Josh
So after Grand Canyon fun, we drove down to Sedona to see the red rocks. Here are a few of those:
We spent a little time walking down the main street but knew we needed to get back on the road stat if we wanted to get into the Phoenix area at a respectable time. On the way down I had a chance to see a highway sign pointing to Cottonwood (my city of birth) and we also got directions to a local buffet as we were feeling one. This is where horrible “Road Trip Logic” comes in as we saw that at that time we were 104 miles from the buffet and 102 miles from Jen’s house. Perfect they’re right next to each other. Because, you know, there’s *no way* they could be those distances in *different directions* from each other. Of course not. Okay well it wasn’t *that bad* but before stepping out of the car to grab dinner we checked the distance to Jen’s and it was about 43 miles. Whatever. Where’s the orange chicken?
So we made it to Jen’s around 9:30 so not too late for our very nice and accommodating hostess. We made the requisite Facebook check-ins and hit the hay.
Tuesday started off well enough. Had a good breakfast, filled up the car, started looking for the freeway and then…wait, what? I’m being asked to pull over by Mr. Police officer? Oh, these cones represent a construction zone? I was going 39 you say? Right. So what construction has been done here? Oh, none. I see. Where are the construction workers? Not right here but in the area. Okay. So it’s just you and a bunch of cones set up so you can write speeding tickets all day? Got it. Thank you for giving a speeding ticket to an unemployed person who has to save as much money as possible right now. Greeeaaaat…
So yeah. The second time I’ve ever been pulled over and my first speeding ticket. And I’m the guy who almost always goes no more than 5 mph over the speed limit and is as straight as an arrow in life. Lord. Oh and did I mention I was in Surpise, Arizona? Quite the surprise. Let’s get OUT OF HERE.
So we start our way to Albuquerque and only *then* start noticing that it appears that there is either a camera or a police car in wait on the freeway like every 50 feet in Arizona. GO THE SPEED LIMIT. GO THE SPEED LIMIT. GO THE SPEED LIMIT. GO THE SPEED LIMIT. GO THE SPEED LIMIT. As went my primary thoughts throughout the duration of my drive on Arizona freeways. Talk about scaring a poor boy straight. Oh and my mind also turned the big traffic cones into mini versions of Daleks (Dr. Who, anyone?) but sans the turret cannon bit. Both are pure evil. Let’s move on…
So we’re making good time and then see freeway signs for Meteor Crater and made a snap road trip decision to go see it. I mean, when’s the next time we’re going to be there? So without further ado, here’s Meteor Crater:
I got this total almost surrealist shot overlooking the desert:
“I present to you, Meteor Crater”
King of the Crater
So back on the road we went. Arrival in Albuquerque was around 8:30 and after checking in, we did the sensible thing which was to have a giant dinner at awesome seafood establishment, Pappadeaux.
Wednesday was an early wake-up call of around 5:30 as we wanted to get to Carlsbad Caverns no later than lunch-ish time. The trip down and back was probably the most interesting of the trip. The main freeway heading south had almost nobody at all on it, halfway down the sky opened up and I had to navigate these crazy torrential downpours which produced some flash flooding, we went through a town that *had* to have been used as the setting on a horror film, and *then* we got to Roswell.
We stopped off at the local Wal Mart for an early lunch which we ate in the parking lot. This *was* a strange day, wasn’t it? And I got these shots, being my *only* pictures in the town:
Right. So down to Carlsbad Caverns we went. We did get there around 12:30 but only really had time to take the main tour being we had a drive of 5-6 hours back so here’s a few shots from the tour:
The entrance cave:
After crossing over:
A little further down:
Hanging out:
Well look at that:
And that:
The Three Giants or some such:
Me being artistic, or so I think:
Anyway, by the time we got to the bottom of the main cave, we had walked down about 750 feet. The only think is that there is some level of the Law of Diminishing Returns as I think we both starting thinking, “Yeah…another stalactite…or stalagmite. Yay…” However we were glad to have gone and it well worth the time as it’s just one of places people should try to get out to once in their life. Okay so that was Wednesday.
Thursday was highlighted by a mostly non-eventful trip to Laughlin. After about 1:00 I started getting hungry for a little lunchy lunch and Henry mentioned that there was an In-N-Out in Flagstaff. Now those of you that know me are aware that I can, ummmmm, get singularly focused and once I had In-N-Out on the brain, it became my mission. So we get to Flagstaff and…no In-N-Out off the freeway. We kept on looking at each exit and nopers. Okay. Everything will be fine. We’ll just find something along to way and nothing nothing nothing and before you know it we saw a Jack In The Box and that was going to have to be good enough. We stopped off…and 20-30 minutes later we got our food. Not fast food, btw. Alright well whatever, we got something to eat. Back to the freeway and I kid you not…the next exit had an In-N-Out and then the following exit was the Carl’s Jr. from earlier in our story. Figures. *Josh slaps forehead with palm*
So get got in around 5:30, checked in, and started walking around and about the first thing I said to Henry was, “I think they eat young people” as Laughlin is, errrrr, the “older crowd” shall we say. It was like I was in a Twilight Zone episode or something. After coming to terms with Bizarro Las Vegas we hit a buffet, strolled along the river walk, gambled a bit, and went to bed…as we’d done almost everything one could do in Laughlin. This is how excited I was to be there:
Friday was extraordinarily humdrum as we just drove back. No random girls hitting on me, or getting speeding tickets, or looking at giant holes in the Earth.
Anyway, that’s the long and short of it and now I’m looking forward to my next road trip. I’m eyeing the Pacific Northwest, actually. We’ll see when that happens.
So two weeks ago I took off with one of my best friends for a five day roadie throughout the Southwest. Now I was born in Arizona, but hadn’t really traveled through the area as an adult so this seemed to be a good time to do it. Going into planning we knew we wanted to go to Carlsbad Caverns but beyond that we were up for however things might go. My initial thought was that I have family in Phoenix so we might be able to stay with someone out there. Thankfully my cousin Jen said we could stay at their place so we had Monday night set. We then made skeletal plans to be in Albuquerque Tuesday and Wednesday, drive to Laughlin on Thursday, and come home by Friday night. With that laid out, here’s how things played out…
Anyone who knows me is aware that I’m a guy who enjoys his sleep so when the ala…wait when I just *naturally woke up* (seriously, what’s my problem?) just after 4:00 I was feeling a little surreal, but okay. So I updated my Facebook status (I do *not* have issues) threw my stuff in my car and went to pick Henry up. After arriving we threw some essentials in the car including a huge bottle of water and a container of chocolate covered almonds (gotta be prepared, you know?) and went our way. I drove the first leg…wait, I drove the whole trip. Hold on. sidebar. So we found out that one of my super powers is that I have the capacity to drive amazingly long distances without getting tired…provided I have a fully charged iPod. Apparently I run on music. I also want to take this time to thank the cities of Napa, Sacramento, and Paso Robles for the many trips I have taken to them that helped build my stamina. Also navigating the zany L.A. traffic for years has undoubtedly helped.
And we’re back. So we stopped off in Barstow and I had second breakfast at a McDonald’s (waaaaaay too much fast food on this trip. Sorry, body.) and we got some water bottles and chips. Our next stop proved to be an unexpected adventure. We stopped off at a Carl’s Jr. in Kingman, Arizona for a drink, I walked up to the counter to order and before I could say a word to place my order, the girl behind the counter asked, “Hey, has anyone told you that you look like the lead from the film version of Rent?” (this guy. Actor Anthony Rapp. What do you think?) Obviously I was not expecting this question but we proceeded to talk about this possibility for a spell and I even got my drink order in at some point. She gave me my cup and in classic nervous fashion immediately forgot the situation and told me my order would be up in a minute. I kindly reminded her that she already gave me my drink so my order already arrived but thanks and I got my drink. We walked back to my car and Henry, after telling me that she was totally hitting on me (I’m…ummmmm…a little oblivious to these things. It’s probably another reason why I’m still single. Josh and signals sometimes get lost), concocted a plan for me to have an excuse to go back. So we decided we *really* needed some ice. So I walked in to get a cup for ice aaaaaand…no girl. There was a nice more-than-middle-aged woman who gave me requested cup for ice. Oh well. Back on the road.
This then brings us to big site #1 on the trip: The Grand Canyon. As the way these things usually go, I really won’t be daft and try to *explain* the Grand Canyon. Here are some pics:
Panorama from the South Rim:
Another shot from the rim
We also…ummmmm…walked down and found a great spot to take some shots…at a ledge. Here you go:
Henry
Josh
So after Grand Canyon fun, we drove down to Sedona to see the red rocks. Here are a few of those:
We spent a little time walking down the main street but knew we needed to get back on the road stat if we wanted to get into the Phoenix area at a respectable time. On the way down I had a chance to see a highway sign pointing to Cottonwood (my city of birth) and we also got directions to a local buffet as we were feeling one. This is where horrible “Road Trip Logic” comes in as we saw that at that time we were 104 miles from the buffet and 102 miles from Jen’s house. Perfect they’re right next to each other. Because, you know, there’s *no way* they could be those distances in *different directions* from each other. Of course not. Okay well it wasn’t *that bad* but before stepping out of the car to grab dinner we checked the distance to Jen’s and it was about 43 miles. Whatever. Where’s the orange chicken?
So we made it to Jen’s around 9:30 so not too late for our very nice and accommodating hostess. We made the requisite Facebook check-ins and hit the hay.
Tuesday started off well enough. Had a good breakfast, filled up the car, started looking for the freeway and then…wait, what? I’m being asked to pull over by Mr. Police officer? Oh, these cones represent a construction zone? I was going 39 you say? Right. So what construction has been done here? Oh, none. I see. Where are the construction workers? Not right here but in the area. Okay. So it’s just you and a bunch of cones set up so you can write speeding tickets all day? Got it. Thank you for giving a speeding ticket to an unemployed person who has to save as much money as possible right now. Greeeaaaat…
So yeah. The second time I’ve ever been pulled over and my first speeding ticket. And I’m the guy who almost always goes no more than 5 mph over the speed limit and is as straight as an arrow in life. Lord. Oh and did I mention I was in Surpise, Arizona? Quite the surprise. Let’s get OUT OF HERE.
So we start our way to Albuquerque and only *then* start noticing that it appears that there is either a camera or a police car in wait on the freeway like every 50 feet in Arizona. GO THE SPEED LIMIT. GO THE SPEED LIMIT. GO THE SPEED LIMIT. GO THE SPEED LIMIT. GO THE SPEED LIMIT. As went my primary thoughts throughout the duration of my drive on Arizona freeways. Talk about scaring a poor boy straight. Oh and my mind also turned the big traffic cones into mini versions of Daleks (Dr. Who, anyone?) but sans the turret cannon bit. Both are pure evil. Let’s move on…
So we’re making good time and then see freeway signs for Meteor Crater and made a snap road trip decision to go see it. I mean, when’s the next time we’re going to be there? So without further ado, here’s Meteor Crater:
I got this total almost surrealist shot overlooking the desert:
“I present to you, Meteor Crater”
King of the Crater
So back on the road we went. Arrival in Albuquerque was around 8:30 and after checking in, we did the sensible thing which was to have a giant dinner at awesome seafood establishment, Pappadeaux.
Wednesday was an early wake-up call of around 5:30 as we wanted to get to Carlsbad Caverns no later than lunch-ish time. The trip down and back was probably the most interesting of the trip. The main freeway heading south had almost nobody at all on it, halfway down the sky opened up and I had to navigate these crazy torrential downpours which produced some flash flooding, we went through a town that *had* to have been used as the setting on a horror film, and *then* we got to Roswell.
We stopped off at the local Wal Mart for an early lunch which we ate in the parking lot. This *was* a strange day, wasn’t it? And I got these shots, being my *only* pictures in the town:
Right. So down to Carlsbad Caverns we went. We did get there around 12:30 but only really had time to take the main tour being we had a drive of 5-6 hours back so here’s a few shots from the tour:
The entrance cave:
After crossing over:
A little further down:
Hanging out:
Well look at that:
And that:
The Three Giants or some such:
Me being artistic, or so I think:
Anyway, by the time we got to the bottom of the main cave, we had walked down about 750 feet. The only think is that there is some level of the Law of Diminishing Returns as I think we both starting thinking, “Yeah…another stalactite…or stalagmite. Yay…” However we were glad to have gone and it well worth the time as it’s just one of places people should try to get out to once in their life. Okay so that was Wednesday.
Thursday was highlighted by a mostly non-eventful trip to Laughlin. After about 1:00 I started getting hungry for a little lunchy lunch and Henry mentioned that there was an In-N-Out in Flagstaff. Now those of you that know me are aware that I can, ummmmm, get singularly focused and once I had In-N-Out on the brain, it became my mission. So we get to Flagstaff and…no In-N-Out off the freeway. We kept on looking at each exit and nopers. Okay. Everything will be fine. We’ll just find something along to way and nothing nothing nothing and before you know it we saw a Jack In The Box and that was going to have to be good enough. We stopped off…and 20-30 minutes later we got our food. Not fast food, btw. Alright well whatever, we got something to eat. Back to the freeway and I kid you not…the next exit had an In-N-Out and then the following exit was the Carl’s Jr. from earlier in our story. Figures. *Josh slaps forehead with palm*
So get got in around 5:30, checked in, and started walking around and about the first thing I said to Henry was, “I think they eat young people” as Laughlin is, errrrr, the “older crowd” shall we say. It was like I was in a Twilight Zone episode or something. After coming to terms with Bizarro Las Vegas we hit a buffet, strolled along the river walk, gambled a bit, and went to bed…as we’d done almost everything one could do in Laughlin. This is how excited I was to be there:
Friday was extraordinarily humdrum as we just drove back. No random girls hitting on me, or getting speeding tickets, or looking at giant holes in the Earth.
Anyway, that’s the long and short of it and now I’m looking forward to my next road trip. I’m eyeing the Pacific Northwest, actually. We’ll see when that happens.
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