Friday, January 15, 2010

Reader Emails

The other day I received this email and thought I should address this topic:

“So Josh, what’s with the lack of real regular blog posts for the last few months? Didn’t you used to post all the time?” – Josh M., Valley Village

Great question. Thanks, Josh. It’s weird because I’ve thought about this on and off for awhile. It used to be that I would post about almost everything that came tumbling across my brain at an alarmingly high rate. I posted on all sorts of things from the innocuous to the profoundly personal. These days I usually just seem to talk about music and a few other things. If you go back to blog 1.0 (don’t, btw) I was a maniac, and I mean that in the best and worst way possible. So after giving this a moment here’s what I’ve come up with as to answers, not that I’m under any delusions that any of you have been pondering these questions.

First and foremost, and this is A LOT of the reasoning, is that I’m no longer in “What the hell is happening to my life?” mode that got started almost three years ago. I was in a major league freak out for a LOOOOONG time and the past 6 months or so have seen me rectify enough of my internal emotional issues about my past. I think I’ve largely taken the Beatles song “Let It Be” to heart and have accepted that it’s okay that I won’t understand everything in this life and that sometimes really crappy things happen to you. People have free will and their actions, at times, really hurt you but that’s life. No good ever came from my eternal struggle with my need to be satisfied with things because I determined that I had to see the tangible good that God would make out of a horrible situation and until I saw that I wasn’t okay. Now? I think that’s still coming but have realized that I have to be patient and that God will reveal things on His timetable. Seriously, I feel like the whole episode aged me a decade both physically and emotionally and I mean that in ways good and bad. Anyway, so since I’m at a better place with all of that, I don’t feel the need to compose 20,000 word blog posts on the topic anymore.

Secondly, some of my old posts were, “Look at this crazy website I just found” or some such and I pretty much get that out of me these days by posting links on my Facebook page so that seems to satiate my need to share that kind of stuff.

Third…well I just seem to be busier these days and am living a life with more positive things going on and it’s reduced the amount of time I’ve had to sit down and craft the kinds of compositions I used to. I don’t want to even tell you how long it took me to finish this. Of course if/when things come up in the future, I will probably make time so there is that.

Fourth-ly, I’m trying to be more deliberative about what I write and when I write so that I’m not creating a post merely in the heat of being emotional (see: 2008 presidential election, being thrown under bus by ex girlfriend, etc.). I’m working on trying to be prudent, sitting on my feelings for a bit and being better about *waiting* before expose the world to whatever is on my heart. I’ve been described as someone with eight hearts on their sleeve and even though I love the openness of that state of being, it’s also caused me to be too affected by my emotions. I like the more deliberative Josh and it’s a part of the personal growth I’ve seen as of late.

Anyway, I think that’s about it. Communication mediums are changing, I’m growing and maturing, I’m getting more active and this simply means I don’t post as often. Does that answer your question, Josh M.? Let me know.