This might sound random but I've stumbled upon a weird stretch of time in my nocturnal life recently. Actually this all began two weeks ago today and to be specific the first night I was in Napa. I do need to give a little background first...I don't know about you but for most of my adult life I've been one of those people who remember their nightly dreams maybe a half dozen times per month. I have no clue if that's normal or not but what I've become used to.
Anyway this brings me to two weeks ago, during my first night in Napa, and I remembered a night of dreams. No big deal. It happens. Then it happens the next night. And the next. And the next. And you get the idea. I've now had almost two straight weeks where I've remembered my dreams and I don't know entirely what to make of it. My co-worker, Mila, thinks this has to do with me becoming more aligned with God's walk in the last six months. That because internally and externally I've become more attune to what God wants of me, so whatever used to make it so that I would only intermittently remember my dreams may have become dislodged. I don't know but I do know I haven't changed any physical things as I'm still eating as normal, sleeping my regular schedule, getting regular exercise and the lot.
Now having said that, I haven't been experiencing any real profound dreams during this stretch and the fact that I spent Wednesday night hanging out with several of the top NBA draft prospects can attest to this. Maybe this could be a precursor to something else down the way, which is a general frame of mind I've taken to in the past year or so. That what God is doing with us today is in direct preparation for tomorrow even if we don't see it right now. I know I’ve seen that happen with me very recently and I suppose I’ll just patiently wait to see where this will lead.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Stepping Up To The Call
The one thing I will say about life, and the situations God puts before us, is that you never know when He is going to call you for something specific. Because of that, we have to remember to be willing and OPEN to whatever direction He points us in. I was just reminded of this fact in the last few days and it’s had a profound affect on me. Because of the nature of this kind of forum, but most importantly because of the nature of the situation at hand, I’m not at a place to give any details here so be mindful of that. I can say that I found myself being the only person someone very close to me felt they could go to in a time of major crisis and after a few intense days of communication and patient waiting, it looks like the initial steps have been taken so they’ll receive the proper help.
It wasn’t how I though my week was going to shape up but sometimes we’re called to something specific and, with His guidance, you take the proper steps to follow that call. It actually was the first time in years where I felt the Holy Spirit move in my life profoundly and I innately was able to make all the proper calls without thinking twice about how to proceed. Also knowing the full situation now, things could have gone horribly wrong and I would have been completely devastated yet God stepped in right as the moment dictated and for that I’m eternally grateful. God called on me at, what has turned out to be, a life turning moment and I am aware that this will have an effect on the course of my life, even though I’m not quite sure how just yet. I witnessed, and was fully part of, a genuine miracle and that doesn’t happen every day.
Anyway I don’t want to go too long on this, all things considered, but I did want to say a few things. The power of prayer is amazing and God’s timing to coordinate things, even in the worst of circumstances, is breathtaking. Know that not matter what situation you find yourself in, that God finds a way despite our personal failings. Not only that, God has done a masterful job of putting together this community of believers who will stand up with (sometimes for) us right when it’s needed. Because of this community, we’re never truly alone even when the world seems desolate and that everything is crashing around us. Remember that God is good, that He always can find a way for us, and that through Him all things are possible.
It wasn’t how I though my week was going to shape up but sometimes we’re called to something specific and, with His guidance, you take the proper steps to follow that call. It actually was the first time in years where I felt the Holy Spirit move in my life profoundly and I innately was able to make all the proper calls without thinking twice about how to proceed. Also knowing the full situation now, things could have gone horribly wrong and I would have been completely devastated yet God stepped in right as the moment dictated and for that I’m eternally grateful. God called on me at, what has turned out to be, a life turning moment and I am aware that this will have an effect on the course of my life, even though I’m not quite sure how just yet. I witnessed, and was fully part of, a genuine miracle and that doesn’t happen every day.
Anyway I don’t want to go too long on this, all things considered, but I did want to say a few things. The power of prayer is amazing and God’s timing to coordinate things, even in the worst of circumstances, is breathtaking. Know that not matter what situation you find yourself in, that God finds a way despite our personal failings. Not only that, God has done a masterful job of putting together this community of believers who will stand up with (sometimes for) us right when it’s needed. Because of this community, we’re never truly alone even when the world seems desolate and that everything is crashing around us. Remember that God is good, that He always can find a way for us, and that through Him all things are possible.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Napa Trip June 2009
So it seems I promised a blog post on my trip to Napa from this past weekend so here goes…I’ll forego my usual narrative to instead pluck out bits and pieces. Let’s see how this goes.
The trip there and back was surprisingly traffic free. Apparently I went on the right weekend. With the weird exception of hitting some clogs on highway 29 (that takes you trough Napa), I just breezed on both ways. It was really helpful (and I was very thankful) that I was prepared with something like 14-15 hours of podcasts to pass the time because…well because the 5 is about the most boring drive invented by man. I also found it odd that I happened (and I really mean “happened”) to stop off at the 5 and 46 interchange to fuel up and grab some Arby’s without going west afterwards. It’s weird I still have these associations.
Saturday’s winery trip and Sunday’s winery trip were totally different. By design, Dawn (my sister) took me to primarily ones right off the highway in Napa on Saturday and then we went up to the Spring Mountain ones on Sunday. Things on Saturday started off well and we went to Ceja, where Dawn and Joel are wine club members and know a few of the people who run it so it was more personal than your average wine tasting. That was apparent as we heard stories about dogs running away and they pulled out future building plans. Hess was great, and I’ve been there before, and I love all the modern art so it was a good time. Then in the afternoon (shoot, I have turned it narrative…oh well) we picked up Shaina (my friend who I haven’t seen in four years) and we went out to BV and, eventually, Monticello. The “eventually” bit is because we had a run of getting shot down by wineries that were no longer doing the “Napa neighbors” program (i.e. free tasting for Napa residents and guests) which was just as well because they seemed to be ones that were fairly impersonal, crowded, and the lot so it was just as well. Sunday was a different story as we made reservations with Terra Valentine and Schweiger and I felt we were treated much more personally. This was especially true at Schweiger as we were the only people they were set to see that day and we were even the first people served by their new employee who this guy would have asked for a number if he had more of a spine but oh well. Oh and I came away with a nice $50 bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon that I decided will either be split with the next love of my life or I’m getting buried with it. I certainly hope it’s the former. Anyway, we ended things by going over to Gwilliams with the employees from Schweiger to end things. Anyway, you can go here to see the few photos I got from the various wineries.
Of course the best part was being able to see people from my life. I usually end up seeing Dawn and family at least once a year but it was good to double that amount at least this year. I like seeing how my nephew is a liiiiiitle more like Uncle Josh than I’m comfortable with. I will venture to guess that his #1 strength from the StrengthFinders would be Input as well because the kid’s recall is amazing. Now I also went up when I did because I knew Shaina was going to be up there so we coordinated things about a month ago and I’m glad it all worked out. In addition to taking in a few wineries together we also had a good evening up in Sonoma getting dinner and hanging out so it was well worth it. We’ll see if I’ll make it out to Funcie at some point.
Anyway, it was a fairly relaxing weekend of wine, friends, family, and podcasts. I’m glad it worked out well and I would like to make it out again sooner to Napa as well as figure a way for it not take four years between friends if mine. Good times everybody and I’ll see you when I see you (code for I’ll see you on Facebook).
The trip there and back was surprisingly traffic free. Apparently I went on the right weekend. With the weird exception of hitting some clogs on highway 29 (that takes you trough Napa), I just breezed on both ways. It was really helpful (and I was very thankful) that I was prepared with something like 14-15 hours of podcasts to pass the time because…well because the 5 is about the most boring drive invented by man. I also found it odd that I happened (and I really mean “happened”) to stop off at the 5 and 46 interchange to fuel up and grab some Arby’s without going west afterwards. It’s weird I still have these associations.
Saturday’s winery trip and Sunday’s winery trip were totally different. By design, Dawn (my sister) took me to primarily ones right off the highway in Napa on Saturday and then we went up to the Spring Mountain ones on Sunday. Things on Saturday started off well and we went to Ceja, where Dawn and Joel are wine club members and know a few of the people who run it so it was more personal than your average wine tasting. That was apparent as we heard stories about dogs running away and they pulled out future building plans. Hess was great, and I’ve been there before, and I love all the modern art so it was a good time. Then in the afternoon (shoot, I have turned it narrative…oh well) we picked up Shaina (my friend who I haven’t seen in four years) and we went out to BV and, eventually, Monticello. The “eventually” bit is because we had a run of getting shot down by wineries that were no longer doing the “Napa neighbors” program (i.e. free tasting for Napa residents and guests) which was just as well because they seemed to be ones that were fairly impersonal, crowded, and the lot so it was just as well. Sunday was a different story as we made reservations with Terra Valentine and Schweiger and I felt we were treated much more personally. This was especially true at Schweiger as we were the only people they were set to see that day and we were even the first people served by their new employee who this guy would have asked for a number if he had more of a spine but oh well. Oh and I came away with a nice $50 bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon that I decided will either be split with the next love of my life or I’m getting buried with it. I certainly hope it’s the former. Anyway, we ended things by going over to Gwilliams with the employees from Schweiger to end things. Anyway, you can go here to see the few photos I got from the various wineries.
Of course the best part was being able to see people from my life. I usually end up seeing Dawn and family at least once a year but it was good to double that amount at least this year. I like seeing how my nephew is a liiiiiitle more like Uncle Josh than I’m comfortable with. I will venture to guess that his #1 strength from the StrengthFinders would be Input as well because the kid’s recall is amazing. Now I also went up when I did because I knew Shaina was going to be up there so we coordinated things about a month ago and I’m glad it all worked out. In addition to taking in a few wineries together we also had a good evening up in Sonoma getting dinner and hanging out so it was well worth it. We’ll see if I’ll make it out to Funcie at some point.
Anyway, it was a fairly relaxing weekend of wine, friends, family, and podcasts. I’m glad it worked out well and I would like to make it out again sooner to Napa as well as figure a way for it not take four years between friends if mine. Good times everybody and I’ll see you when I see you (code for I’ll see you on Facebook).
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Camera Obscura at The Fonda
So after blabbing about it incessantly over on my Facebook page for a few weeks I did, indeed, finally go see my buddies in Camera Obscura at the end of last week. I would have normally blogged about the show already but I was in Napa for vacation (post to come soon) from Friday to Monday and haven’t had the time until now. Oh and I wanted to wait for the creepy youtube people to post clips from the show which they graciously, and ably, put up in the days since the show. So without further ado, here’s a short-ish re-cap of the show.
I was able to catch the show (once again) with my friend Caryl from church as we met at the North Hollywood Red Line station and made our way down to Hollywood and Vine as the show was at the Henry Fonda Theatre. The tickets said the doors opened at 8:00 with the show starting at 9:00 but worried guy here started getting that way after hearing that people were lined up as early as 4:45. I began to think that maybe the show time had changed or some daft thing but alas it was my good friend worry as when we got in at around 8:30 we had more than enough time to grab a beer, talk for a bit with the show (surprise!) starting right at 9:00. And yes, I DO worry too much…
Anyway, these things tend to be about the music so let’s get to it. There were two opening acts with the first being the very delightful, and super talented, Anni Rossi. Anni plays the viola (NOT the violin…thanks Myspace page!) and is a one woman band as she will often alternate between plucking away and using the bow while keeping the rhythm by stomping. Even though it was presented in a manner one might not be familiar, her songs are structured really well and her voice is just a simple mini revelation. I don’t think we were properly prepared but sometimes that’s how it works. Now, there were no clips of her from this show, but here’s a good example of what she normally does:
Anni Rossi - Arctic Swing
After Anni’s set, I was instantly worried (there’s that “worry” business again) as I had done my research leading up to the show as I knew the name of the other band and was preparing for the worst. The other opener was a Sacramento based group called Agent Ribbons who…were terrifying. I’ll quote from Caryl’s Facebook page from right after the show: “Agent Ribbons: worst band ever” They are allegedly a, wait for it, Vaudevillian Punk group. They’re actually a really overly pretentious artsy group who dress somewhat Goth in baby doll dresses and do their best to scare the crap out of everybody. I knew I was in trouble when, after telling one of the library student employees who is from Sacramento, was told that he’s seen them a few times…playing in various back yards and basements. My question was how in the WORLD does a band like this get the opening slot for Camera Obscura? Anyway, I will not sully my blog by including a clip of theirs but feel free to knock yourself out on youtube.
Okay now on the headliners. Here are a few thoughts in no particular order…even though she’s not the most outgoing front woman (she’s known for having problems with stage fright), Tracyanne is every bit the singer and performer you would love to see. She’s brilliant, beautiful (and yes, I discovered I am indeed a fanboy in the lead-up to the show) and really deserves a larger audience. The rest of the group played well, with the exception here and there (not everyone was in the same key at the beginning of Eighties Fan and Tracyanne seemed a bit not alright with things during the beginning of If Looks Could Kill), and I loved the visual of seeing these two HUGE guys on one side of the stage being flanked by the two girls on the other. The audience was obviously filled with fans who went crazy just by hearing the first strum of some of the songs and I even called it on one even before they played a note. Tracyanne mentioned they would be heading down to Mexico the next day and that the next song was appropriate which then made me think, “Oh! Honey in the Sun mentions Mexico City. That’s the next tune.” And it was…I have problems. Oh and I also called the encore as when they came back I said to myself well they HAVE to at least do Lloyd, I’m Ready to be Heartbroken (one of their most popular songs) and Razzsle Dazzle Rose be the perfect closer…which is what exactly happened. Go Josh.
As far as the set list, they mostly drew from the last two albums with only one from the first album (the requisite Eighties Fan) and two from the second (the odd choice of Books Written For Girls and Teenager) so it was a little top heavy but I think that can be a good thing as it shows they really believe in the newer stuff and it holds up with the rest of their career…plus they have a new album to push. Other than that, my only disappointment was that it seemed a little on the short side (running about an hour and fifteen minutes). However, I’ll take and will be looking at the tour calendar to see when they’ll be back. Let’s see who I’ll nab next time. Anyway, here are a few clips I found online so you can get a vicarious concert experience (note to Facebook readers. The videos never transfer from my blog to FB notes, so if you want to take a look go over to my regular blog page. Enjoy:
My Maudlin Career (The show opener)
Honey in the Sun
French Navy
Teenager
Away With Murder
If Looks Could Kill
I was able to catch the show (once again) with my friend Caryl from church as we met at the North Hollywood Red Line station and made our way down to Hollywood and Vine as the show was at the Henry Fonda Theatre. The tickets said the doors opened at 8:00 with the show starting at 9:00 but worried guy here started getting that way after hearing that people were lined up as early as 4:45. I began to think that maybe the show time had changed or some daft thing but alas it was my good friend worry as when we got in at around 8:30 we had more than enough time to grab a beer, talk for a bit with the show (surprise!) starting right at 9:00. And yes, I DO worry too much…
Anyway, these things tend to be about the music so let’s get to it. There were two opening acts with the first being the very delightful, and super talented, Anni Rossi. Anni plays the viola (NOT the violin…thanks Myspace page!) and is a one woman band as she will often alternate between plucking away and using the bow while keeping the rhythm by stomping. Even though it was presented in a manner one might not be familiar, her songs are structured really well and her voice is just a simple mini revelation. I don’t think we were properly prepared but sometimes that’s how it works. Now, there were no clips of her from this show, but here’s a good example of what she normally does:
Anni Rossi - Arctic Swing
After Anni’s set, I was instantly worried (there’s that “worry” business again) as I had done my research leading up to the show as I knew the name of the other band and was preparing for the worst. The other opener was a Sacramento based group called Agent Ribbons who…were terrifying. I’ll quote from Caryl’s Facebook page from right after the show: “Agent Ribbons: worst band ever” They are allegedly a, wait for it, Vaudevillian Punk group. They’re actually a really overly pretentious artsy group who dress somewhat Goth in baby doll dresses and do their best to scare the crap out of everybody. I knew I was in trouble when, after telling one of the library student employees who is from Sacramento, was told that he’s seen them a few times…playing in various back yards and basements. My question was how in the WORLD does a band like this get the opening slot for Camera Obscura? Anyway, I will not sully my blog by including a clip of theirs but feel free to knock yourself out on youtube.
Okay now on the headliners. Here are a few thoughts in no particular order…even though she’s not the most outgoing front woman (she’s known for having problems with stage fright), Tracyanne is every bit the singer and performer you would love to see. She’s brilliant, beautiful (and yes, I discovered I am indeed a fanboy in the lead-up to the show) and really deserves a larger audience. The rest of the group played well, with the exception here and there (not everyone was in the same key at the beginning of Eighties Fan and Tracyanne seemed a bit not alright with things during the beginning of If Looks Could Kill), and I loved the visual of seeing these two HUGE guys on one side of the stage being flanked by the two girls on the other. The audience was obviously filled with fans who went crazy just by hearing the first strum of some of the songs and I even called it on one even before they played a note. Tracyanne mentioned they would be heading down to Mexico the next day and that the next song was appropriate which then made me think, “Oh! Honey in the Sun mentions Mexico City. That’s the next tune.” And it was…I have problems. Oh and I also called the encore as when they came back I said to myself well they HAVE to at least do Lloyd, I’m Ready to be Heartbroken (one of their most popular songs) and Razzsle Dazzle Rose be the perfect closer…which is what exactly happened. Go Josh.
As far as the set list, they mostly drew from the last two albums with only one from the first album (the requisite Eighties Fan) and two from the second (the odd choice of Books Written For Girls and Teenager) so it was a little top heavy but I think that can be a good thing as it shows they really believe in the newer stuff and it holds up with the rest of their career…plus they have a new album to push. Other than that, my only disappointment was that it seemed a little on the short side (running about an hour and fifteen minutes). However, I’ll take and will be looking at the tour calendar to see when they’ll be back. Let’s see who I’ll nab next time. Anyway, here are a few clips I found online so you can get a vicarious concert experience (note to Facebook readers. The videos never transfer from my blog to FB notes, so if you want to take a look go over to my regular blog page. Enjoy:
My Maudlin Career (The show opener)
Honey in the Sun
French Navy
Teenager
Away With Murder
If Looks Could Kill
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
The Value of Chemistry
So this past Sunday, I unexpectedly, got into a conversation with my friend Frank from my small group through Mosaic on a topic I somewhat addressed in a blog post at the end of last year on blog 1.0. It’s been one of those things I’ve been thinking about, on and off, for the last two years and felt I should give it a good blog post with, perhaps, a new set of eyes because I’ve had an additional six months of added experience and thinking to adjust my view. Anyway, the topic here is that of the role, or importance, of the ever elusive chemistry (or match-ability, or “fitting” just right) to dating and in finding your future somebody. I thought it an interesting give and take as we were similar but also very different in our views on this topic.
Now Frank can correct me here but his view seemed to be that 100% chemistry (both physical and intellectual) has to be there immediately or else any prospect is doomed to fail. That these are aspects that usually show up right away and no level of cultivation can spur measurable growth if not already present. The conversation stemmed from our mutual dating lives in the past and it’s funny (not “Ha Ha” funny) how I’ve changed because of relationships I’ve had or potentials I’ve met.
I think I’ve turned from being this ridiculous idealist who was just sure he’d find someone just “perfect” for him to this total open pragmatist. I used to think that I would, due to sheer numbers, eventually find someone who totally would fit me with tons of chemistry overflowing and that would be it with happy endings and everything else to follow. Now you know what happened? I did meet a person or two who really fell into that category and I even dated one of them for several years (who eventually ended up just leaving me high and dry for someone else) and yet I’m here still single. So sorry to torpedo western society here, but because of these experiences, I’m not convinced that a high level of chemistry is a predicator of two people staying together which, in part, explains my view on holding it as THE factor when looking at any potential relationship.
So first of all, it seems to me that there is more at play then mere chemistry because if that were the case I wouldn’t still be depressingly logging on to Match.com several times per week. In fact I’ve made a complete turn and believe that we have over valued chemistry in western society which has lead to a ton of singles in their 20’s and 30’s who won’t “settle” for anyone because they’ve determined exactly what they’re looking for (including some chemistry gauge) and until that magical person comes along they’re going to shoot down every person who doesn’t fit into this box. It’s actually really sad because it limits the possibilities and potential we have for our lives and there are also theological statements associated in this mindset
On Sunday at church the speaker talked about how God usually ends up working in ways outside our expectations. That despite our best efforts otherwise, God always seems to take us towards paths unexpected. And for a good number of us in the faith we, in a general sense, seem to be accepting of that. However, you can’t believe how many people I know or have been interested in who completely dismiss this mindset when it comes to romantic relationships. Why is it that we, as Christians, can be accepting of this “Wherever God leads me” mindset unless it pertains to relationships? You know, I’m not going to box in whatever God might have for me across the board, including relationships, as I believe in following His call wherever it may lead which has lead me to be okay about the possibility of living a life very different from the one I have now should it become obvious that he is calling me wherever.
Okay, so it sounds like I’m getting a little tangent-y but it does relate to this topic of relational chemistry. Part of it is my personal view of how God works. That He can, and will, bring people into your life for a variety of reasons with one of them being relational. As I look back, I can largely see how most of the people from my life have come in at certain times for very specific reasons and it’s usually made sense. I’ve experienced this in great affect romantically, even though it’s been years now, but through that experience I know for a fact God works in this area. So I ultimately trust His guiding hand and I’ve seen it before so I feel confident I’ll see it again.
Now as far as sifting through each person I’ve run into recently I’ve tried my best to figure out their role in my life even if it takes awhile. In regards to the role of chemistry, my personal view is that yes it would be ideal to have off the chart chemistry with someone and that IS a good thing (I’m not trying to knock it…honestly), but since I’ve only seen it very few times in my life, I understand the scarcity of it and am not going to sit around waiting for someone who may not exist. I’m not going to let this possible unrealistic ideal get in the way of the people I meet today. I’ve decided that I don’t have to meet someone who fulfills some preconceived checklist or who passes a chemistry gauge test but instead I’ve focused on a few big issues and have gone from there. My approach has become one where provided I meet someone with a shared faith, who I like to spend time with, with a similar approach to life, then we can figure everything else out. It doesn’t mean that I’m settling, or that chemistry doesn’t matter (and it does play a role), but I’m aware that love mean many things and cannot be summed up in one word (okay, well other than “God”) and if we’re looking to put all our relational eggs in one set of criteria, then we’re not living the kind of life God wants of us. I think we are to be open, seeking His will, and letting things like love find us, even in the unexpected paths. Now I know my problem with this is that I’ve found a vast majority of women I’ve met do not ascribe to this as I’ve heard countless “we’re not a good fit”, “we don’t match up well”, and all the other reasons people give and most of these have come after meeting me once which is always the best way to get a read on a person; an awkward first date. But I digress…
Anyway I did want to leave with you with this, people. God doesn’t make mistakes. He puts each one of us in our lives for reasons but a level of openness is always a good thing. The traits, desires, and personalities we are bestowed with are there for a reason. I know that I’m not the most conventional guy and I’m sure that’s hindered me in the past few years, but it’s going to click again for me one day again. I’m sure. God’s seen me through before and He will do so again and the level of whatever (chemistry, personality, and all those other things) will be what it will and it will be good. A friend of mine has told me repeatedly that you can pretty much love, and fall in love, with most anyone and at the end of the day, isn’t that what this is about?
Now Frank can correct me here but his view seemed to be that 100% chemistry (both physical and intellectual) has to be there immediately or else any prospect is doomed to fail. That these are aspects that usually show up right away and no level of cultivation can spur measurable growth if not already present. The conversation stemmed from our mutual dating lives in the past and it’s funny (not “Ha Ha” funny) how I’ve changed because of relationships I’ve had or potentials I’ve met.
I think I’ve turned from being this ridiculous idealist who was just sure he’d find someone just “perfect” for him to this total open pragmatist. I used to think that I would, due to sheer numbers, eventually find someone who totally would fit me with tons of chemistry overflowing and that would be it with happy endings and everything else to follow. Now you know what happened? I did meet a person or two who really fell into that category and I even dated one of them for several years (who eventually ended up just leaving me high and dry for someone else) and yet I’m here still single. So sorry to torpedo western society here, but because of these experiences, I’m not convinced that a high level of chemistry is a predicator of two people staying together which, in part, explains my view on holding it as THE factor when looking at any potential relationship.
So first of all, it seems to me that there is more at play then mere chemistry because if that were the case I wouldn’t still be depressingly logging on to Match.com several times per week. In fact I’ve made a complete turn and believe that we have over valued chemistry in western society which has lead to a ton of singles in their 20’s and 30’s who won’t “settle” for anyone because they’ve determined exactly what they’re looking for (including some chemistry gauge) and until that magical person comes along they’re going to shoot down every person who doesn’t fit into this box. It’s actually really sad because it limits the possibilities and potential we have for our lives and there are also theological statements associated in this mindset
On Sunday at church the speaker talked about how God usually ends up working in ways outside our expectations. That despite our best efforts otherwise, God always seems to take us towards paths unexpected. And for a good number of us in the faith we, in a general sense, seem to be accepting of that. However, you can’t believe how many people I know or have been interested in who completely dismiss this mindset when it comes to romantic relationships. Why is it that we, as Christians, can be accepting of this “Wherever God leads me” mindset unless it pertains to relationships? You know, I’m not going to box in whatever God might have for me across the board, including relationships, as I believe in following His call wherever it may lead which has lead me to be okay about the possibility of living a life very different from the one I have now should it become obvious that he is calling me wherever.
Okay, so it sounds like I’m getting a little tangent-y but it does relate to this topic of relational chemistry. Part of it is my personal view of how God works. That He can, and will, bring people into your life for a variety of reasons with one of them being relational. As I look back, I can largely see how most of the people from my life have come in at certain times for very specific reasons and it’s usually made sense. I’ve experienced this in great affect romantically, even though it’s been years now, but through that experience I know for a fact God works in this area. So I ultimately trust His guiding hand and I’ve seen it before so I feel confident I’ll see it again.
Now as far as sifting through each person I’ve run into recently I’ve tried my best to figure out their role in my life even if it takes awhile. In regards to the role of chemistry, my personal view is that yes it would be ideal to have off the chart chemistry with someone and that IS a good thing (I’m not trying to knock it…honestly), but since I’ve only seen it very few times in my life, I understand the scarcity of it and am not going to sit around waiting for someone who may not exist. I’m not going to let this possible unrealistic ideal get in the way of the people I meet today. I’ve decided that I don’t have to meet someone who fulfills some preconceived checklist or who passes a chemistry gauge test but instead I’ve focused on a few big issues and have gone from there. My approach has become one where provided I meet someone with a shared faith, who I like to spend time with, with a similar approach to life, then we can figure everything else out. It doesn’t mean that I’m settling, or that chemistry doesn’t matter (and it does play a role), but I’m aware that love mean many things and cannot be summed up in one word (okay, well other than “God”) and if we’re looking to put all our relational eggs in one set of criteria, then we’re not living the kind of life God wants of us. I think we are to be open, seeking His will, and letting things like love find us, even in the unexpected paths. Now I know my problem with this is that I’ve found a vast majority of women I’ve met do not ascribe to this as I’ve heard countless “we’re not a good fit”, “we don’t match up well”, and all the other reasons people give and most of these have come after meeting me once which is always the best way to get a read on a person; an awkward first date. But I digress…
Anyway I did want to leave with you with this, people. God doesn’t make mistakes. He puts each one of us in our lives for reasons but a level of openness is always a good thing. The traits, desires, and personalities we are bestowed with are there for a reason. I know that I’m not the most conventional guy and I’m sure that’s hindered me in the past few years, but it’s going to click again for me one day again. I’m sure. God’s seen me through before and He will do so again and the level of whatever (chemistry, personality, and all those other things) will be what it will and it will be good. A friend of mine has told me repeatedly that you can pretty much love, and fall in love, with most anyone and at the end of the day, isn’t that what this is about?
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